With much of ample efforts, Tanvi chose to express her battle with depression with the world.
While the names in this series would be fictional to protect privacy. The narrative would be in her own words & inspired by our discussions.
Below is her captured perspectives on various aspects of life, while she was undergoing those dark days & nights.
Notes in her own words:
A. Career
People get excited about going out, working and enjoying life, but I just don’t feel the urge to leave my family and all that I’m familiar with, despite the many consequences and tensions. I'm advised to do what I enjoy because if I don't like the job or profession, I won't be able to enjoy working, regardless of the salary.
Not having a clear sense of purpose just makes me feel even more discontented because I can't handle stress well at all and it’s making me feel sick. I feel at times like I'm on the brink of a breakdown.
The problem is also that sometimes, even if we don't want to, we end up comparing ourselves because our generation is caught in this loop. Those older than us weren’t as affected by social media, so it didn’t impact them as much when they were our age—they just faced the usual challenges.
I can't convince myself to make a move because there's usually a lot of pressure in other homes to pursue a job or higher studies, but my family is quite different. We don't have that kind of pressure, which allows me to follow my interests.
This freedom, however, has made me a bit lethargic and unable to leave my comfort zone. Also, the homesickness gets worse by night, which makes me not want to move at all.
B. Relationship
I might not be the best person to discuss this, but here are my thoughts. What do we seek a relationship? Are we not sufficient company for ourselves? Something seems to be missing, right? Finding that missing piece, someone who can fill the void inside us, can make us feel complete, both externally and internally.
It’s common to hear people say, He is my whole world, my life, my brain, my kidney! However, this isn't entirely accurate. While someone might not be your entire world, they are undoubtedly an essential part of it, similar to your parents who also play a significant role in your life.
Relationships shouldn't be a game of rock-paper-scissors where things work out randomly or not at all. Relationships require effort, especially during tough times. And if someone is struggling with mental health issues, they shouldn't be labeled as 'toxic' and avoided. It’s important to support each other rather than hastily passing judgment.
In today’s world of casual relationships and situationships, communication is key. If you need something, say it. Small gestures matter a lot, like asking how your day was or if you slept well. It's not about grand gestures like diamond rings or fancy dinners. The real connection comes from genuine, everyday interactions.
C. Marriage
Especially in the case of arranged marriages, they are more uncertain. How do you know if someone is 'the one'? Perhaps there's someone else out there who might be a better or worse match, which makes it quite confusing. This isn't like choosing a career path where you have clear steps to follow; sometimes fate just takes over.
You might have seen instances where childhood sweethearts split up or two complete strangers, who you'd never imagine together, end up in a relationship. It's odd how sometimes opposites attract and manage to stay together.
Both in careers and relationships, finding a good match can be rare. It’s as though I'm not just talking off the top of my head, these thoughts have been puzzling me, so I thought I'd share them with you.
Isn't it perplexing? There's always a chance the next person could be better or worse. And honestly, I can't figure out if it's karma or luck at play. You see cases where the least expected individuals end up with stunning partners, and it's utterly unpredictable.
But with careers, you generally know what you want, the steps you need to take, and most of the time, you can predict the outcomes, even if sometimes luck doesn’t fully cooperate.
⚠
This series needs to be treated as the reflection of someone's personal journey, not as any medical advice on mental health or depression.
